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What’s the easiest way to disagree with someone?

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“They’re obviously misinformed. As soon as I share what I know, they will surely change their mind.” Sure, that always works: we’re all eating healthy and exercising regularly.

“They’re stubborn, a soldier in an army of passionate ideology-driven puppets, refusing to see the truth.”
Yup, we all know you hold the absolute version of it. There’s no chance they would see you in the same manner.

“I know already, way better than you, what you need”, so I won’t listen to what you have to say.
You walked in my shoes and know exactly what would make me cherish your contribution, isn’t it?

So, what would be the hardest?

We’re different: we had different families, friends, schools, cultural contexts as we grew up. I understand that you see issues from a different angle, and your perspective on this was shaped long before this situation. You feel strongly about certain details because you encountered situations that support those feelings. Are you open to consider another angle?

That’s what I share with clients when I attempt to discover what’s behind the curtain of a certain attitude, perspective or when I attempt to move the focus from the forest of customers to the tree.

The difference is a valuable resource: it starts off as misunderstanding, disagreement but it ends up propelling learning, exploration, change, leading to better for us all. As passionate as we may feel about ours, we’ll be able to connect when we agree that the other party may hold a part of the truth.

If you want to make the change you seek, consider telling stories that resonate. Argue on the same frequency. And in order to resonate, listen first. To understand.

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